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My mother sat on me!

April 11th, 2008 by | Tags: , | 43 Comments »

I’m switching my head back and forth. “AAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAHH!!” I’m screaming on top of my lungs. I’m trying to push my mother’s chest away from me. I’m crying hysterically. My mother’s hands are on my head. She’s sitting on me tightly. She’s trying to attach the magnet that is part of the external processor onto my head, but I keep pushing it off. She continues to fight ferociously to force me to keep my processor on my head. “You’re going to wear that processor, Rachel!” My mother scolds with a very angry face. My mother is sure one determined mother!

When I was three years old, just after I received my cochlear implant, I fought with my mother every morning when she tried to put the processor on my head. I know that seems cruel of my mother to do that, but I’m so grateful that she did it because nowadays, I cannot imagine why in the world I did this to her. When I wake up every morning and I put my processors on, I realize that I’m welcomed to a broad spectrum of opportunities – hearing sounds which I enjoy doing every day.

I certainly do have some memories of my mother sitting on me when she was trying to put my processor on; however, I really do not remember why I had the motivation not to want my mother to put the processor on my head. I have absolutely no idea because today, I absolutely cannot walk out of the house without my processors. That’s just my personal feeling.

43 Comments

Karen Mayes

April 11, 2008 at 6:16 am

Oh man… your posting is gonna make some people nodding vigorously, believing that they are witnessing the suffocating of deaf identity, by your mom.

I am outta here ;o)

April 11, 2008 at 6:22 am

I actually had to sit on Rachel to get her to take medicine as well. She was a very strong willed child about everything. She wanted control of everything. There was one time that she refused to sit in her car seat and stiffened her body so that I could not bend her to put her in it. It was the end of a long day, and I was tired and wanted to go home. Another time, we were in a mall, and she decided she wanted something that I would not buy her. She then sat down on the floor and proceeded to scream and cry and wouldn’t budge. I had to pick her up and carry her out. I always said then that her determination would stand her in good stead when she was older, but it was very frustrating for a parent of a toddler. I’m willing to bet that there are other parents reading this who have experienced a stubborn child and can relate to this.

The point is that, as her parent, I knew what was best for her – She had to wear her processor in the same way that she had to take her medicine and ride in a car seat. Rachel’s refusal to put her magnet on in the morning had absolutely nothing to do with her not wanting to hear and everything to do with wanting control. Once it was on in the morning she was fine with it and never complained or took it off the rest of the day. In fact, there were nights where she got angry at me for taking it off and not letting her sleep with it.

Karen Mayes

April 11, 2008 at 6:27 am

Hee, hee, I wonder who Rachel got the strong-willness from… ;o)

Naomi

April 11, 2008 at 7:16 am

Oh Melissa – looks like another thing my boy and your girl have in common then??? Stubborn as can be – and you are right, it stands them in good steed for sure : – )

April 11, 2008 at 7:25 am

Ooooh, I had a taste of this strong will just last week: I was chastising the little one for writing with marker on the living room wall (‘washable’ markers aren’t always all that washable). Without batting an eye, she reached up, dropped off her coil and resumed writing, now uninterrupted by mama’s annoying lecture about the walls.

I then signed for her to stop, very emphatically, but the toughest part was not bursting out laughing with delight at her ingenuity while trying to be tough — so I know had the facial expressions all wrong!

Fortunately, Li-Li at 2 loves her processor on, so no wrestling matches. It’s one of the first things she requests in the morning, and she’s learned to pop the fallen coil back on any time the magnet falls off. If this precocious filtering of mom is any indication, though, once she’s 16 and I’m trying to enforce a curfew … I suspect there may be wrestling when she has only to press a button to shut me up.

Davy

April 11, 2008 at 8:21 am

hummm Really hummm intersting what going on …. ha!

Davy

White Ghost

April 11, 2008 at 9:19 am

That’s Momma’s job.

Your Momma *must* be the tough bird but faithful.

Parental involvement is the key for the kids to success in literacy and sounds.

Kids like you must be informed by parents…..do tell “Why” thing.

silentredwolf

April 11, 2008 at 9:31 am

Am smiling big and start laughing, You said “When I wake up every morning and I put my processors on, I realize that I’m welcomed to a broad spectrum of opportunities – hearing sounds which I enjoy doing every day.” What do you mean by that. Are you saying that you enjoying hear “Environmental sound or hear people talking to you without look at people’s mouth?” Which one? Am wearing hearing aids and only use this to hear environmental sound such as cow moo, dog bark, car blow horn, listen to music without words, who care, etc. I dont care about people talking. I only get 30 percent understand people talking. So what’s yours? Cochlear implants doesnt make you perfect normal people. We are normal people in God’s eye. I hope you have a strong heart for a long time, what I’m saying is if you have a bad heart, you cant have pace maker. too close to cochlear implants, can cause electrial problem, if your heart stopped and need to charge your heart with special jump device. It will blow your brain cuz of electrical too close to your head. Something you have to think about it. But too late, you have device in your head and hope you have strong heart. God bless you.

April 11, 2008 at 9:54 am

My kids were also strong-willed, but it was extremely rare to have to force them physically in any way. I used to tell them quick stories, made up on the spot, and they’d cooperate instantly because of wanting to see the story ending. (It would usually be about them, but turning their sign names upside down to make it clear it was not truly them.) Works great.

April 11, 2008 at 10:08 am

that was pure CHILD ABUSE. TOTAL child abuse. you have a right to file a claim against her and make her pay for cruel treatment. She should be spending time in jail. Is this the agbell right of way to force children to be put on the CI? I think not. I encourage you to file child abuse claims and make her pay for it. She’ll realize that her criminal actions will NOT be tolarated in this society.

Jean Boutcher

April 11, 2008 at 10:19 am

Rachel,

Now you are eternally indebted to your mother for her “perstare et
praestare”. She knows what is the best for you. Bless your mother!

Candy

April 11, 2008 at 10:58 am

haha I had to laugh…gosh! that part about your toddler stiffening up when u tried to put her in the car seat was something i’ve experienced with mine….i found a way to relax my toddler…by tickling her. works every time! pretty common stuff, actually…for strong willed kids to be that way.

jodi

April 11, 2008 at 11:10 am

Rachel…this comment’s for your mom…been there done that, not proud of it, but happy that we have made it to where we are today. I cried reading this post, you have NO idea how painful that period was…Jodi

April 11, 2008 at 11:54 am

Wow!

I hated broccoli, but my Mama was teaching me to eat properly. I hated going to bed at 8:00 pm, but my Mama knew when I was tired – even though I vehemently disagreed.

I loved flying my kite during a thunderstorm one afternoon in New Mexico because I was hoping to catch a lightning bolt after watching a PBS program showing Benjamin Franklin being zapped whilst flying a kite.

But my Mama knew I was gonna kill myself and dragged my butt back inside.

I love my Mama.

:o)

Paotie

April 11, 2008 at 11:55 am

Rachel ..

I forgot to mention:

Your Mama is pretty cool!

:o)

Paotie

K.L.

April 11, 2008 at 1:16 pm

The memories this brings back. Hauling screaming kids out of the store, forcing them into or out of car seats, into or out of clothes, whatever. When my daughter was at preschool, they told the kids outdoor play time was over and it was time to line up. She looked at the teacher, then grabbed her coil wire and pulled the entire body worn processor off and dumped it on the ground. Fortunately, the teacher also knew how to sign “line up”. My 3 year old was not happy with that one. She wanted to keep playing.

I’m so glad the toddler years are over.

April 11, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Candy, I love your tickling idea as a remedy for that rigor mortis- alternating with wet noodle thing toddlers do when they sense their little bottoms are approaching the carseat! I made the amateur mom mistake of holding an iced coffee in one hand while attempting to maneuver small but extremely springy child into the seat. I tried very hard to describe the physics of the complex launching movements she made when explaining why the ceiling of my poor little Prius and I were soggy and still dripping with increasingly sour milk one evening.

I think I may have the perfect opportunity to try it out this afternoon when I pick her up from school and she wants to play in the parking lot …

Karen Mayes

April 11, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Well, I miss my children’s toddler years… it was so much fun, lots of hugging, lots of sharing “secrets”, etc.

Despite “it is mine, mine, mine…” phase :o)

Lisa C.

April 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm

LOL. Your mamma would not have sat on you if you obeyed her.

Rachel

April 11, 2008 at 2:51 pm

“You said “When I wake up every morning and I put my processors on, I realize that I’m welcomed to a broad spectrum of opportunities – hearing sounds which I enjoy doing every day.” What do you mean by that. Are you saying that you enjoying hear “Environmental sound or hear people talking to you without look at people’s mouth?” Which one?”

Silentredwolf,

What I mean is that I enjoy being able to communicate with greater ease. By that definition, I enjoy being able to talk to people without looking at people’s mouths and communicate with people on the telephone on a regular basis. I love hearing environmental sounds too, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.

Regardless of people’s ability to hear, speak, and communicate, we’re all normal. We’re just unique individuals.

“I hope you have a strong heart for a long time, what I’m saying is if you have a bad heart, you cant have pace maker. too close to cochlear implants, can cause electrial problem, if your heart stopped and need to charge your heart with special jump device. It will blow your brain cuz of electrical too close to your head. Something you have to think about it. But too late, you have device in your head and hope you have strong heart. God bless you.”

This is a misconception. Read this – http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8822728

This patient has both a pacemaker and a CI.

Rachel

April 11, 2008 at 2:58 pm

“that was pure CHILD ABUSE. TOTAL child abuse. you have a right to file a claim against her and make her pay for cruel treatment. She should be spending time in jail. Is this the agbell right of way to force children to be put on the CI? I think not. I encourage you to file child abuse claims and make her pay for it. She’ll realize that her criminal actions will NOT be tolarated in this society.”

Steve,

I’d suggest you take your pity elsewhere. You didn’t read my blog and my mom’s comments thoroughly. You’re just plainly against CIs.

Candy

April 11, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Li Li’s Mom, :) this post brought back memories. I do the same thing with shoes…rubbing the arch gets them in. haha kids! good luck with the tickling.

April 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm

If we went in every home and discovered what all parents do in these little battles we face w/our kids, we would all sound cruel. Melissa, the medicine…I KNOW!! Brook is now four and a half, she will finally take medicine w/out gagging until it comes back out. We all have battles w/out kids…especially when they are three. As Rachel has clearly stated day in and day out…Thank goodness you made her wear it.

April 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Val,

When I would try to give Rachel medicine when she was a toddler, particularly Amoxicillin, she’d whack at it and knock it out of my hand. If I pried her mouth open and squeezed it in with a dropper, she’d spit it back out at me. The only way not only to get her to take it but also to swallow it was to have her lying down. I think the gravity must have forced it down her! I didn’t actually sit on her with that or the processor. It was more like kneeling over her with my knees holding her arms to her sides, or she’d whack or grab whatever it was she was fighting me about, either her processor or her medicine.

To this day, as Rachel will attest, if she wants something badly and I disagree, watch out – If she’s home she’ll follow me around nonstop arguing with me trying to wear me down. If she’s at school, I’ll still hear about it plenty. Fortunately, from about the age of 5 on she actually became very reasonable and rational, and so our battles are few and far between.

I’m actually telling all these stories laughing at the memories because I am so thrilled with the young woman Rachel has become, and her strengths are her motivation and determination, just as I had predicted. To Rachel, the word challenge doesn’t mean something that may be too hard. Instead, it means something that she is going to accomplish and prove to everyone she can do, and no one had better try to get in her way.

Rachel

April 11, 2008 at 3:54 pm

“To this day, as Rachel will attest, if she wants something badly and I disagree, watch out – If she’s home she’ll follow me around nonstop arguing with me trying to wear me down. If she’s at school, I’ll still hear about it plenty.”

She got it.

My mom and I had a little dispute the other day. She told me that I should postpone my abroad study in France until the spring semester of next year due to some bureaucracy going on at my university. UHHHH NOOOO! She knows better that I don’t let any sh** get in my way. *wink* The bureaucracy situation has just been resolved and it’s all good. :D

Rachel

April 11, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Hey Paotie!

ROFL! I CAN’T believe you would want to go outside and fly a kite during a thunderstorm! You’ve must have been a one brave child!

Wanna do a “Rachel and Paotie CODETALK”?

mom2boys'

April 11, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Rachel,

Our initial battles at 18 months were with hearing aids in the car, but a few weeks of hearing resulted in that habit subsiding. It was a battle we chose to fight. Now he puts his aid and processor in the dry n store, charges his battery, cleans out his earmold, and brings them to us first thing. At 5 that’s pretty impressive to me.

I can just picture you and your mom doing this since I feel like we have seen her grow up with the videos and pictures.

Paotie,

I have a boy. Is the kite flying thing what I have in store? I already clean massive amounts of rocks from pockets, pick up stick swords, and find Star Wars parts everywhere. Yikes.

jodi

April 11, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Rachel,
THIS is one of my favorite posts of ALL TIME!!!! Guilt is a very Jewish thing that I suffer from immensely and the comments here have really been eye-opening. Thanks for sharing this…go Melissa!!!! Jodi, again

White Ghost

April 11, 2008 at 6:50 pm

Paotie! Ughhhh!

You gotta to blame either your teacher or Mama for letting you to learn about the kite thing.

Nevertheless, she saved your life and you are very much indebted in her!

Know what? My husband was a very young boy and he found a very filthy dog and brought him into the house, *NOT* the garage nor backyard. His Mama got very furious!

Lisa C.

April 11, 2008 at 7:23 pm

Poatie,
Go fly a kite!!

And let me know how it goes.

April 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm

Rachel ..

Well, you see .. in those days, we didn’t have closed captioning on television – or at least not in my house.

So, one day as a little boy, I had watched a children’s educational program like Sesame Street. But since the program wasn’t captioned and the segment concerning lightning and Benjamin Franklin was entirely voiced-over, I didn’t understand many of the details concerning lightning, okay?

And it just so happened that there was a thunderstorm that afternoon, so I ran outside with my kite and launched it. A few minutes later, rain began falling and lightning flashed brilliantly in the sky.

Higher and higher the kite went until I ran out of string.

About 10 minutes later and through pouring rain, my Mama came running and yelling at me with things like, “What the hell are you doing!? Get your butt inside NOW! Let go of the kite! NOW! RIGHT NOW! NOW!”

That’s not as bad as the time I decided to empty four big boxes of baby powder to convert my bedroom into a “winter wonderland”. Or the time I celebrated the fact I had won the Indy 500 by spraying Coke all over the dining room’s walls and floors.

Of course, when we ran out of Coke, I did what all kids do.

I went outside to play.

As for CODETALK .. well, what’s the answer to the riddle?

:o)

Paotie

April 11, 2008 at 8:20 pm

mom2boys’ ..

A favorite habit of mine as a boy was to get all the bottles of cologne and perfume in my house – which was a lot – and mix various parts of the two liquids into horrifically foul-smelling concoctions.

And of course, I’d wear my inventions proudly until everyone else was overcome with fumes and then I’d have to take a shower.

We used to “jump” over ramps built from bricks and plywood that went well over 5-foot high. I’ve got the scars to prove it, too.

:o)

Paotie

Elizabeth

April 11, 2008 at 8:21 pm

I never thought I’d hear a similar “baby powder” story. There should be a club! Mine is slightly different: My next-door neighbor convinced my sister and I (we were all 4-7 years old) that baby powder could be used like a fire extinguisher, so we should pretent the whole room was on fire and use a giant, economy-sized container of baby powder ALL OVER the bedroom. Baby powder takes a looooong time to wash out of carpet, clothes, and hair. I can’t see a fire extinguisher, or baby powder, without thinking about it!

…and I swear, it was all the neighbor girl’s idea! My sister and I were perfect saints, as usual. Still are.

April 11, 2008 at 8:23 pm

mom2boys ..

When I say, “jump”, I mean with bicycles. Like, Evel Kneivel was popular in those days, so we mimicked his jumps by jumping over cars, people and pets with our bikes.

:o)

Paotie

April 11, 2008 at 8:25 pm

Elizabeth ..

Yah! There were four boxes sitting in my little brother’s crib, and each box had lots of bottles of baby powder. So, one bottle became two, and then before I knew it, all four boxes were empty. And about an inch of baby powder covered everything in my bedroom.

Sure it was the neighbor’s idea. Suuuuuure.

HaHa!

Cool beans!

:o)

Paotie

White Ghost

April 11, 2008 at 8:26 pm

Ughhh….

My daughter and her best friend used the potions to make the experiments. They learned from the “Harry Potter” movies.

Took me long time to clean up and kill the scents! Phew.

April 11, 2008 at 8:53 pm

y’all are so funny, the hospital(or nurse at the hospital) actually recommended that I blow in Brook’s face after I put meds in her mouth. People probably thought I was cruel too to blow in her face really fast after putting her medicine in but it worked when she was really small until she learned to run…I then put her favorite blanket up on top of the fridge until she took her medicine…oh, the horrible child abuse…but she got her medicine and got better.

Rachel

April 11, 2008 at 9:18 pm

Paotie,

Response to your comment about your kite story -

No wonder! Thank goodness I’m living in the 21st century!

For CODETALK – Is the answer “silence”?

Rachel

April 11, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Oh god! I can’t believe you, Paotie and Elizabeth, created that lovely mess with baby powder! I’m sure the fun was worth it and a great memory!

Paotie, you should tell Jodi your cologne and perfume story as her son’s into cologne!

April 12, 2008 at 11:05 am

Rachel ..

Hey!?

There was ONE great thing that came out of the 20th century:

Captain Kangeroo!

Yah! Take that, you 21st-century lovers!

HaHa!

And yes, you’re right: “silencio!”

:o)

Paotie

Denice Solgat

April 15, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Lol…thanks guys, I needed that! Lets hope Ali pulls it together as well as Rachel did…you both sure do give me hope!

Cyber Hugs!

Monika

May 7, 2008 at 10:13 pm

My husband emailed me the link to your blog after I had called him and told him our 2 & 1/2 year old daughter took her implant APART completely twice today. I was so frustrated as half of the time she fights me in the mornings just to put the CI on her head. When I read your story “My Mom sat on me” I sat in front of the computer crying my eyes out. It’s like reading my own story. How many times I’ve chased her around the house trying to put her implant on only for her to turn around and take it off again. I will not give up if I have to do it 10 times a day. And I will not lie, I’ve also sat on her. Thanks for the encouragement.

Chloesdad

June 30, 2008 at 10:12 am

My daughter, who turned 2 in March, was implanted in May and activated a couple of weeks ago. She is refusing to wear her processor. I am hesitant to force her to wear it, but it seems that may be the only way to get it on her. Any suggestions?

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